Post birthday presents and 2013 resolution

I am home. You can't imagine how excited I am about the idea of going home. I miss everything about my home and the people inside it. I got bunch of presents and cards in my room from beloved family and friends. I was so happy and proud, actually that they do remember 29 December was my birthday. 

Hey, it is 2013, already?! So, my resolution for this year is I do not want a single cent from my parents (except that they will pay for my house rent) and way to achieve the resolution is to start an online business, which I already started doing. Check out my online shop on Instagram, @ohcoax.

I will be home.

First time reading Natsuo Kirino's book, half way through yet I am already too excited to buy her other books. In a mean time, I just have to recharge my level of patience and get through 14 days before I am home. I'll be back on 8 January. I'll be home on 8 January. 

Key cake for me, pretty please!

One of my wishlist for as far as I can remember is to have a key cake for my 21st birthday but I guess it will not going to happen. Why key cake matters? Because my dad had one during his 21st and most of my family too. The significant of having a key is "a pathway to adulthood", well in other words you can do things legally now, things that you did when you were 15 or omg, you are getting older or thank god, you are getting wiser.

I can feel my heart crushes little by little as I see the marks on my calendar. My birthday is on 29th December and that time is our study week before the exam. I really want to go back, I REALLY REALLY REALLY WANT TO  and my mom really want me to go back but.... it will waste of money since the next week is our semester break, sooooo? 

Benang cela

Memang betul kata pensyarah Aspresiasi Sastera kami, taktala jiwa bergolara ambil lah kesempatan tersebut untuk menulis sebuah sajak. Gabungkan perasaan dan pemikiran maka lahirlah sebuah sajak yang bukan hanya luahan perasaan namun ia lengkap bersama diksi, hiperbolik dan simbolik.

Jiwa bergelora, jiwa kacau bilakah janji temu kita yang seterusnya?

Benang Cela

Terkilan aku
Terdiam aku
Bibir dijahit benang kata cela

Kau caci aku
Kau cerca aku
Rabak nurani
Robek sanubari
Tiada terminasi

Nafas dihembus desiran hangat
Tiada rima, tiada nikmat
Aku tiada betulnya, kau tiada kurangnya
Aku usul tanah dan kau..
tiada bezanya.

Bahasa Jiwa Bangsa

I am taking Aspresiasi Sastera for co-curriculum this semester and yes, the reason I'm taking it all because BAHASA JIWA BANGSA and not because I (we) thought it was in English since it was written "LITERATURE APPRECIATION" on the course outline. So, after being tortured half of the semester I only succeed writing two poems, ops, sajak. IT WAS A BIG ACCOMPLISHMENT and I don't know why I am writing with the caps lock on. The poems are both completely raw and unedited.

Ternyata Alpa.

Ketika candra bersuluh tidak,

Ketika kejora berkelip tidak,

Malam ternyata kelam,

Namun, 

Ketika mentari bersinar megah,

Malam ternyata alpa. 

Sangkar Kamsatu

Nur rembulan mengintai

sepi tanpa kata,

hening tanpa bicara.

Cahaya kartika menyuluh

Kau dan Aku,

Kita...

Kita,

Kau dan Aku,

Terkunci kata,

Membatu diri,

Mencari, meraba dalam kelam

Malam yang kudus,

Kita,

dambakan malam yang kudus.

Namun,

Terperangkap, terjerat kerana kalbu

dan

tiada bersihnya di dalam

Sangkar kamsatu itu. 

Positive vibe

I want to live inside a cocoon of a positive vibe, where the clouds are white and the sky is blue. 

Stay.

I want to be here, I want to stay but I feel queer. I will be here, I will stay and this is the coffee talking.